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woman in mask covered in flowers

The Ties that Bind (15 months in) By Ruby Engel

The Ties that Bind (15 months in)

By Ruby Engel


People say I look okay

But I don’t really feel that way

There’s so much that is wrong with me

I wish you could just look and see

I never know from day to day

If I can keep my symptoms at bay

“Aren’t you better?” I often get asked

Friends and family are aghast

When I say, “No, I’ve not improved”

Long COVID does not want me to”

They don’t understand, it’s been so long

They think “alive” means “recovered” – they are wrong

There are still remnants of the old me

They’re frayed and tattered like a flag by the sea

Imprisoned by this uninvited guest

Who appears to be on a quest

To win this war I never waged

And has made me feel so aged

I’m trying hard to resume life

But many days bring only strife

When you can’t think or walk or move

How can you get back in the groove?

Often I’m able to get some things done

But then a switch flips and the juice is gone

It always happens in just a flash

One moment’s fine, the next I crash

Sleep does not help the fatigue I feel

It doesn’t seem to help me heal

Long COVID really takes a toll

It’s an endless game of Whack-A-Mole

Every time I have success

New symptoms pop up to make me stress

But I won’t give up – I’ll whack away

Until I will be able to say

“Haha! I win! You lost the game

And though I may not feel the same

I’m me, I’m back! You can’t have me forever

Long COVID be banished – these binds I now sever!